Vladamir...

As the morning sun started to burn through my eyelids I stir. My legs were underneath me in an uncomfortable position and I was tense. My neck hurt. My back hurt and I couldn't feel my legs. I groaned. If this was what being dead was like... well, I shall take it in peace. I whimpered as I stretched, my right side feeling very tender. I looked. Fur was scraped off along with the skin in some places. I looked up and there, along the tree, tufts of my fur and mae were blowing gently in the breeze. I scowled, but got up on to sore legs. There was no sign of the stallion and I was relieved, but a small part of me worried. I pushed it back, forcing myself in line as I headed back to the river, taking a long drink before standing with my legs splayed out and my head low between my legs.

I looked over my shoulder, slowly and cautiosuly. I could see the stallion's faint outline in the trees, nearly invisible. I shook my long mane silently, watching. I walked around the river, making sure the wind was blowing to me, from the stallion, and not the other way around as I silently crept to stand in the trees in front of him. I said nothing, just watched lifelessly.

I watched, not moving but just the slightest lowering and highering (Are they even words?!) of my head. I knew what I had done before, but to blame me for it? Never. No one should blame me for my actions. Never. Blame him. Blame him for running away to that mare. Blame him to get into trouble, to leave me hanging by only the thread of life. I lifted my head higher, my eyes burning now with a sudden fire, a fire of wildness, anger and depression. I shooky my head, shaking my dark mane, steppping back, warring with myself. No! You cannot fight. He looks more experienced. DO NOT FIGHT HIM! I yelled at myself until I whirled, launching myself through the trees, ignoring the cuts they caused on my delicate skin, launching myself over the river and over the bank, into the thicker, more proective trees. They took me in happily, swallowing me whole.

(Jeez. Long post.)

I stood, breathing heavily as wet streaks made themselves clear, darkening my face. My sight was blurry and I couldn't see as the pools of salt-water blocked me. I watched after the stallion, my anger burning again. I raced after him, skidding right in his face this time. "I don't know you either, fancy that!" I growled, stepping forward. I was smaller I thought, but I couldn't trust my eyes at the moment. They now ran thicker than ever. "I don't want to fight you!" I was amazed I could keep my voice even, despite my rolling anger and tears. "He left me. You are the closest I can find... You remind me so.." I couldn't continue, I just stood there shaking my head slowly, sobbing every now and then. "I have to stop running from my past... The past... Me." I whisper, turning slowly, not pausing or looking back as I wound through the weeping trees.

(Sorry about the dramatic mare... -Eyes pool on ground near feet-
I am only on now as I ditched school for Show-Jumping today. =D YAY!!!. Also, this weekend, I have a horse-show on so I dunno when I can get on. Also, I am going to a camp (Peer stuff...) end of next week so I won't be able to get on. Sorry iI've just left you. I really am, but, I just wanna tell ya this. I'd rather be on here then sit in a stinking hot classroom all day, listening to teachers waffle on about important stuff I never seem to hear... =D)

I felt the change in the air and whirled, baring my teeth with my ears flat back. Fight? A stallion. No. Yes. No. I couldn't. I should. I will. I won't. I can't... He's too much the same... I couldn't bear to picture this stallion crumpled by my feet. Gone forever. Forvever gone. Gone. Forever. Fight. You must. Fight Back? Remember? You Fight Back. Always have and always will... except for now. I let my concience battle against my instincts to protect myself while I stood tensed, my tail flat against my rump, my ears back, my teeth bared and the whites around my eyes showing. Tension and alarm rolled through me, but anger and fear was the dominance feeling under my skin. I was tensed and ready.

I looked, yet afraid to look, as I took in his coiled muscles. I whimpered, but snapped out of it. My own snarl echoed his, but it was quiter, more a warning than anything. I was done running. I was Fighting Back. Like my name. I was born this way. To fight back. What had happened to the stallion whom had just walked away when I first attacked him... then that rang a bell. I attacked him first. It was his turn now. I whimpered again, lowering my head a fraction so it was lower than his,. I was letting all gaurds down, despite my raging instincts. He let me give him a blow, now I should let him do the same to me... I could bear it... Couldn't I? I couldn't care less if I died... Could I? I had been wishing for it for over a year... I would have taken it happily? But would I now? He could hurt me, kill me, but it would be nothing, nothing compared to my now shredded heart. A heart that was rebroken from the memories...

I ignore him, seeing the same pain in his eyes that was plain on my features. I panicked as he withdrew. Staying still, oh so still, I lift my head. "We are more alike than you think." I whisper as the wind blew my words to his ears. "We both have lost someone dear. We both have taken it in the best way we can, even if it is not the best way possible." I look down, blinking back the tears again.

I sighed. I was getting no where. He would get no where. I looked up. "And he was pure... beautiful.... handsome and brave... Proud too, but brave. Too brave. Too proud." I looked away, looking un-seeingly into the darkness. "Then... another came... He wanted me... his herd... his life... And, being brave, he fought.... until death..." I shudder, lifting my nose to the air as the tears streaked down my grey face. I turned away from the stallion, flitting in and of the trees, ignoring the searching and following stare of the stallion.

(I have a mare, that is awaiting you and your stallions... I am sorry I didn't respond earlier and disappeared, but my friend was over and stole the computer to watch Twilight. I am sorry... D=)

I flicked my ears back at a faint, undecipherable whisper behind me in the trees, then soft footfalls... Louder... softer... Louder... softer. I sighed, but kept walking, forcing myself forward as my footsteps got shorter and slower. I flicked my head up, giving into myself as I stopped to lean against a tree. Going, going... Gone.

Soon the sound of hooves die away. I snort softly, my muscles flexing, but I close my eyes, my thoughts going slower and slower. I slide down the tree slowly, my head resting against the thick trunk.